Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
we're so committed to being not committed
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
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