Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
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