Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
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