We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
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