Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
Randomize
