it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
