I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
