OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
