matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Randomize
