I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
Randomize
