Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Randomize
