White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Randomize
