; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
she pinky promised me she was 18
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Randomize