Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
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