The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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