Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
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