I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
I don't think brook has ever known best
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
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