a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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