I'm really into asian looking animals
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
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