Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
no you cant smoke seaweed
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
Randomize
