Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize