i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
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