I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
are you so shy because you have an std?
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
Randomize
