We named our party play list daddy issues
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
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