**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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