Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
Randomize
