Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
I smell like Dick and happiness
Randomize
