yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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