I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
Did we literally take a cab across the street
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
