i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
