Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
