mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
Randomize
