I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
Tornado booty call.. dedication
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
Randomize