I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Randomize
