My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Randomize
