Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Panties = found
Randomize
