Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
Randomize