I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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