Buhtt sex?
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
why do cheetos always look like penises
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
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