My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
Sacagawea was the original milf.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Randomize
