What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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