dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
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