So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
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