that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
Randomize
