and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
Congratulations! We have a period
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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