Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
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