Grow some girl-balls and come out already
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
