i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
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