We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
You left your underwear on the fireplace
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
Randomize
