the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
Randomize
