i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
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