Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
she woke up with a sticky ear
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
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