first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
Randomize