Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
