my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
Randomize
