Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
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