So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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