I'll bet she douches with gravy.
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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