Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
One girl and one boy is just not enough.
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
