belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
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