No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
I touched a dick in church today
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
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