fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
He's a Shit stain on my heart
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
Randomize
