I feel like abortions should bother me more
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
Randomize
