i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
