so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
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