So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
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