I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
Randomize
