the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
Randomize
